| There really isn't any proof of reality. |
[Jul. 16th, 2008|12:31 am] |
I dreamt last night I was having a discussion with somebody.
They were telling me something to the effect that there is no proof of reality.That people can argue all they want that things like ghost ect don't exist,but they have no real proof of that because there is really no proof of reality even.
Now that thought keeps running around in my head.As if I need something to make myself feel any more twisted in the brain.
I really miss Scooter ever more then normal today.Not having him here just reminds me that there is one less thing to even look forward to waking up to.I remember when the vet first thought he was sick.I just kept telling myself that if my cat was ok,and I just had my cat then I'd be ok.I could handle anything else,if I at least still had my cat.That was ALL I wanted,everything else could have crashed down but if I had that cat I'd at least have that in this world.Now I don't have my cat anymore,It makes me so sad. |
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| Pet Pic's |
[Jul. 15th, 2008|02:11 pm] |
Some of my pet photography.Them and the dolls get duped into being models for me to practice my photography on.As if they don't need a reason to hate me even more.
( annoyed,embarrassed cats behind the cut. ) |
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| Live Nude Kittens. |
[Jul. 15th, 2008|01:31 am] |
Milly outside cat we have got pregnant.Last night she decided to give birth to her babies.One of her babies got "stuck" about around *I know I use country grammar so piss off* his knees.Being as I'm me and not squeamish,I got elected by my mother to go help Milly.So last night I had to help her give birth.First I had to help pull the little one who was stuck out and one of them was still in his little placenta and I don't think Milly knew what to do with it.I had to help get the little placenta sack off of him and clean him up.At first I started freaking out because I thought he was dead,but once I gave him a good rub down with some paper towels and rubbed off his little face he started squawking.
I might as well start a farm,I have to feed,medicate and birth animals.I think that is one of the reasons I'm not very squeamish you can't be around allot of pets and be squeamish.I'm sure the same things goes for people who have allot of human children.
I hate seeing a animal give birth because they look like they are damn uncomfortable and in pain.It's just upsetting because you can't help them feel any better.
Milly would sort of sit down then stand up because she was so uncomfortable and I made me think of what I'd do when I used to get crippling cramps.When she'd look like she just couldn't get comfortable it actually started to make me feel like I had cramps seeing her distress.LOL
There is nothing more gross then birth.LOL.It reminds me why I don't want kids.I see that and think "O god I don't want none of that,no sir!"LOL
Speaking of animals this black bobcat could be Lamb's twin!How pretty is he!
http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/07blk-bobcat |
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| New Frankenstein Dress on my Etsy shop |
[Jul. 14th, 2008|01:32 pm] |
I listed a couple of new clothing items on my Execution Style Etsy Shop,please see my Execution Style Etsy Shop for more pic's and pricing and general info on the items *it's allot quicker to just do that then messages me about it,because sometimes it takes me a long time to get back to folks*.The new items include the Frankenstein dress you see bellow.
Also feel free to add my Execution Style Clothing MySpace
I made a myspace for my reconstructed clothing I do from time to time.
http://www.myspace.com/executionstyleclothing
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| Offensive face. |
[Jul. 12th, 2008|12:38 am] |
I was talking to Steven Leyba http://www.myspace.com/stevenjohnsonleyba tonight because we are talking about doing a proformance together in the near future.He was telling me that a painting he did of me which is just of my HEAD/FACE with a maxi pad of mine glued above my head,as always no nudity,no violence or other things that violate anything's online "terms of service" got deleted off his myspace.What the hell????Again it didn't have any nudity or anything like that,and how could something be deleted because of a maxi pad used or unused?You can see a maxi pad on a tv commercial in the middle of the day.I told my mom about it and it even pissed her off.She doesn't see either how that is so damned offensive because even a used maxi pad isn't something "dirty" no pun intended.How is that worse then the photos of some of the Suicide Girls and other myspace ok'ed erotic they let slip under the radar.I saw a pic the other day of a girl that was totally topless with nothing but a tiny tiny tiny SG logo over her nipple,her how breast were exposed.
Apparently my whole face is just offensive.I had had other people have probs because my photos were "too weird" or "too creepy".Again WHAT THE HELL! And I'm not even talking about photos of me doing body mod stuff or anything like that.Just photos of my face or head shots.I know I'm ugly *and damn good at it* but damn how can your head shot or a painting of your face be offensive. |
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| Oh if I only had a extra 5000.00 |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|11:36 pm] |
Bob and Penny Lord who write wonderful books on mystic aspects of the saints also do Pilgrimage tours.For about 5000.00 you get to go on 15 days worth of pilgrimages including seeing Padre Pio's body under glass http://www.bobandpennylord.com/pilgimage.htm ,Oh God how I wish I had a extra 5000.00 laying around!I think I'd freak out on one of those tours getting to see all that religious art,much less the bodies of dead saints.I'd be like a 16 year old girl in the 60's seeing the Beatles for the first time,I'd likely pull all of my hair out and scream.
Speaking of looking at unusual images of death this is my new fave website http://morbidanatomy.blogspot.com |
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| Spell to reveal hidden agendas. |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|01:10 am] |
I like posting helpful spells from time to time,this is one I think everybody should know.We all know those shady people that do awful things and never get busted or get away with murder weather it's at school,work ect.This can also be used if you are working with somebody who is either not doing their work at work or they are doing something underhanded and you want them to get caught.
Mix some oregano,salt and white pepper and say the spell "Fate combine these elements to reveal evil" then spread it say under his desk at his house,front door or whatever.If they are doing something they are not supposed to be doing at work or in general they will get found out and get their ass busted figuratively speaking.
If it's a issue with you wanting somebody to get busted for doing wrong at say work,it's best to put it near they work station ect. |
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| Opposite day |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|03:18 am] |
You know once I'd like to be the one that gets to screw up.I want to be the fixed instead of the fixer.I want to get to be the one that just sits on my ass and whines till somebody like me will come along,get sick of the whining and will just fix whatever the problem is so said whiner/lazy ass,parasite is mewing about.
I want to be the one that pesters the hell out of somebody trying to do for my own amusement,because I'm just to lazy to entertain myself.
I want to go about just being a screw up and have somebody come along and always pick up my pieces because they are trying to protect the world from one more fuck up.
I wish to be the one that makes somebody have to always walk to eggshells because I'm trying to drain the life out of them.
I'd like to have a non-functioning nervous breakdown,where I can just let everything go to hell around me.I'm tried of always having to be functionally crazy because if I don't take responsibility for myself nobody else will.
It's too bad there isn't really such a thing as opposite day. |
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| The care,feeding and torturing of a artist. |
[Jul. 5th, 2008|01:15 am] |
I'm having one of those moments where I think my artwork is crap.
I don't know what triggers it but I get it once in awhile.I'm not saying that usually I get up and think "I'm such a stunning talent" God no.
But usually I'm just so preoccupied with making/finishing whatever I'm poking out to get it out of my system,that I don't care if it's "good" or "bad" or perfect.I don't think any artist gets up and likes their own work.I guess it's because Familiarity breeds contempt.You spend so much time with something and go from it being a literal lump of dirt into a doll or whatever,that it naturally makes you obsesses over the imperfections.
But some unlucky days I get this feeling like my work is just so awful,that it isn't taken serious,that it's not fine art it's just crap.The feeling is paralyzing,because I don't want to even pick up a sculpting tool or pencil because I'm paralyzed by the feeling my work is just awful.
I start thinking about how nothing made with a human hand is really all that great.No matter how amazing a work of art is,it's always just a impostor of something created by nature.
The concept of just being human and how imperfect that is just smothers me sometimes.
I think one of the reasons I'm having such self esteem issues is when I got some of those doll moulds I bought awhile back,I got a few really cool antique mold copies of things like Simon Halbig dolls,I poured a Simon Halbig head,because oddly enough for my own collection I only really like antique dolls.So I was excited to get molds of those type of heads because the only ones that I ever like are always the most expensive antique dolls,people whine my stuff is expensive.Things like a pretty Simon Halbig or Armand Marseille will usually run you about 1,200.00.
I poured the Simon Halbag head mold,and I did the first cleaning on it,and I put it to soft fire it and then I started thinking about how I would paint it,like what colors I wanted the cheeks ect.It started to make me think about how I had never china painted a head to look "natural" and how nervous it makes me to pour things like those antique molds because it's not my mold,so at times it makes you feel like you don't know your way around it,if that makes any sense.
I think some of that set me off.Like I always say I like doing new things,but I hate learning new things.It reminds me of how neurotic I am,because something like that will totally set me off,and make me start obsessing that I'm a failure and how imperfect humans are and it makes me really start to hate the whole world even more,and hate the concept of being a human on earth.
Really stuff like that totally makes me realize how really crazy I am,that something simple like pouring a doll mold will set me off like that.
But I really do hate being a poor,fumbling,feeble human being because no matter what you do you can never get it right.
Stuff like that makes me wonder if I will survive life,well nobody survives life,but you know what I mean,survive to die when it's your actual time.Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to always resist the urge to just jump off a damn bridge.
I don't know how any of us survive life,how do we all bear to live in a world where people are actually excited to see photos of celebrities eating or where you can get sued if you upset a child molester because "they have rights too,or people care about any of the other mediocre crap that people actually care about these days. |
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| I can't sleep. |
[Jul. 1st, 2008|03:17 am] |
It's 3am and I'm tired and can't sleep.I pretty much have been having one of these periods.
Speaking of crazy menstrual things,a big get well soon to karni-mata,she's had back surgery and I wish her a speedy recovery.
especially the cake part,it's 3am and I'm eating crackings. |
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| Kindness to those who deserve it.. |
[Jun. 28th, 2008|02:43 am] |
One of the 9 Satanic Statements in the Satanic Bible is "Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!"
I have been having a kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates preaching moment all month this month.
Voodoo also pretty much believes in the same thing.
The majority of us believe that if somebody comes to rely,even totally depend or worse abuse you help,you aren't helping them at all.They will not grow in a social,moral or mental sense if they own ability to take responsibility for their actions or help themselves.
I have been scolding a few of the folks around me about letting people abuse them,I think we are all guilty of that.
Let me say here that I'm so so so not saying that you should be friends with people or help people with the intention that you will do that just to get something out of them in the long run,no no no no no!
What I'm saying is that the universe is build on BALANCE,and I think in some aspects that balance is one of the core principles of any religion.That doesn't just go for people who practice pagan or left hand path religions.Even Christianity has the belief that "Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth: as he hath caused a blemish in a man, so shall it be done to him again." and "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses." which boils down to universal balance.
As I said before I have been scolding a few folks who are close to me about not letting themselves a doormat.We are all guilty of it,and like most things we are "guilty" of we are suppose to learn from it and GO ON.I have the personal belief that any bad situation in life at the very LEAST is a learning experience in that it teaches us what it is like to be in that situation,that way we can be sympathetic to people in the same situation and also we will learn if we can help it not to ever inflict that situation on someone else.
People can trick us into helping them,some people are just such dark spirits that they play the victim part so well,that you will end up being tricked into helping them before you help a person that is really in need.Again I don't think the universe,God,The Gods or whatever you call it will let kindness even if it's misdirected go unrewarded.But it's best to be able to spot these types and not go through the heartache of realizing you gave up sanity and savings up to these people,again learn from it and go on to not do it again.
Plus there are sooooooo many people that really are deserving of help or even a kind word,most of the time the people really in need will be hesitant to ask for help,always beware of what I call "gimmie gimmie" people.If somebody asks you for help 10 times in one month,,is just a little bit to damn comfortable asking or worse telling you they need you help for this or that,or ask you for help with the dire situation of say "needing" some stupid frivols thing and if they smell of greediness grab yourself and RUN!Fool me once shame on you,fool me twice shame on me.
There are real needy people in this world.There are children with Cancer,people who have lost loved ones,even lost relationships with people close to them,people with sick loved ones,actual POOR people *not people who claim to be poor because they live beyond their means* and even people who have sick pets or pets that have passed on are actual people who deserve a kind word or a helping hand.
I know how immensely appreciative I was for people who just sent me condolences when Scooter passed on.It wasn't a life threatening situation on my part,but just the fact that other people were kind enough to even write a note saying they were sorry for my loss was so touching to me I can't put it into words,and I will truly appreciate it and the people that did that till the day I pass on,and even after that I will appreciate it.
Which also goes to show you that it doesn't cost allot or even any money to help somebody in need.
Bake a pie for a friend who has been taking of a sick or disabled family member,take your friend for a walk that just had a bad breakup,offer condolences or kind words to those who have lost a loved one,send a box of cookies to a friend who is down and out.
Be kind to those who deserve it,and don't waste love on ingrates. |
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| Throat |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|12:37 am] |
I don't know if my tonsils are acting up again or what.I woke up day before yesterday with like a one sided sore throat.I don't know if it has to do with my tonsils or maybe my thyroid issues or what.
It feels like I have a lump behind my left tonsil or behind the esophagus or larynx whatever it is call that is past the base of your tongue where you swallow.It's hurting up to my ear which is why I think something is swollen back there.When I swallow it feels like I'm only swallowing on one side.
I made a appointment for the Doc Friday,it's really annoying and it's hard for me to yell and I don't like that.LOL |
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| Friday 13th Haircut |
[Jun. 16th, 2008|01:40 am] |
I actually had a pretty good Friday the 13th.I went and had my hair cut.I was starting to look like Cousin It and not to mention I live in sweltering Louisiana,where super long hair makes it extra hot for the summer.
Lori of Salon EV in Lafayette,La did the haircut for me.She's a lovely talented Gal,so add her on myspace and support a fellow DIY business gal!
I also spent my Friday the 13th hanging out with Miss Megan *who took the photo of me,with the new haircut,the necklace in the pic courtesy of Lulu's Shop
I also visited with Cootie Von Ghoul and her fellow.Me and Miss Cootie are eventual going to do a shoot together with Miss Megan.
Pic of the new haircut.P.S.before people mail me and ask there isn't a smuge or something on my boob,that is my birthmark.For a change it's NOT dirt on me.LOL
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| New Art From Me and My Mother. |
[Jun. 15th, 2008|07:56 pm] |
I'm still trying to light a fire under my mom's butt for her to do art too.She likes doing assemblage types of things and I always have so much extra this and that laying around that she's working on a few things,and I'm of course ALWAYS working on things.Because as Jimmy Swaggart says Jesus detest laziness!LOL
But anyhoo I listed some things on Etsy we both just finished I made the gold trinket box thing,It features a print of one of my original drawings.
And my Mom did the little Haunted House thing.
You can find them both here on my Etsy shop here uglyartdotnet.etsy.com ,you can find more photos and pricing info on that link too.
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| Modeling Bio |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|11:15 pm] |
I'm working on my new site layout for my Uglyart.net site and I'm going to have one page on there for my modeling.So far I have this which is just a bit from a sort of bio thingy that ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) skoptzygrrl wrote up for me.It's kind of short anybody have any suggestions on things I should add on there.I don't want to make it a long rambling list of credits and crap like that,but I want it to be informative enough for people who will visit my art site.I'm keeping it short and sweet since I have a personal modeling site I can put all my modeling photos and boring info like long list of credits on there.Here is what I have for my site so far.
As well as a professional doll artist, I'm a established alternative model, modeling extensively for photographers such as Steve Diet Goedde, Lithium Picnic and John Santerineross. For more info or to request info about my modeling please visit my personal/modeling website UglyShyla.Com |
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| Black Cats and Popsicles |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|12:18 am] |
Superfood Lamb http://www.myspace.com/superfoodlamb loves Grape popsicles.I took pic's of him snacking on one and instead of being a cute photo of a cat eating a popsicle he just looks demonic.He really looks like Krampus
( Another pic ) |
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